a piece of my story.

Hello bloggers! 

I've needed to update my blog for quite some time. Needless to say, blogging hasn't been at the top of my to do list. Life happens. 

I haven't shared here on my blog about anything really personal since last year. I've thought about writing a hundred times, but things just never came together like I wanted them too. Some things in life are hard to talk about, especially to an unknown audience. My blog has never really been a venting place or super personal journal for me... more of a place to share the good stuff. As of late, the good stuff wasn't really happening either, thus... no blogging.

For almost a year now (scrolling back thru my last few posts, I've only really blogged on holidays!) I've not had it in me to create or to blog. I've been in a cocoon. :)

I'm not blogging today because I feel obligated, like a lot of bloggers do. I want to share. I think it might help someone else, so here I am.

Last summer, a member of my family was a victim of a crime. The crime was committed by another family member who is now serving time in jail for their crime. My family and I have all been in therapy and coping and healing over the course of this last year. 

This was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life. I never thought I would HAVE to deal with something like this. Not that I was naive by any means, but I guess I just told myself that something like this would not happen to my family... I wouldn't let it happen. But it happened.  

I've never cried as hard or felt that much hate in my heart as I did those first few weeks. I honestly thought I would never stop crying... I could not see any light at the end of my tunnel. It felt as though my world came crashing down and I would never find my way out again...like, I would never feel or be normal again. 

Looking back, that was a really dark time for me and I can see how far I have come. Thank God. 

Over the course of a few months, things began to slowly get better. We began to heal. My husband and I attended every court hearing and afterward I was undone again... left to slowly, (very slowly) pick up the pieces again.

This all created some hardships and tense moments in my extended family. If affected us all. It still does. But we are growing and healing all on our own. In our own way, we are finding grace. 

In February, my children and I gave statements in court at the sentencing... something I never imagined doing. We did it though. We cried and we were broken and we were brave. That's all... 

Now, nearly 12 months later, I am ok. I am healing. I am stronger. I am better. I can hope. I can not only see the light, but I am in that light... living in it.

I changed a lot of things in my life to help me cope. I got a job. I worked with people who have had more hardship than me, giving myself to help them survive their own pain and to recover. I didn't blindly lead them... I walked with them. 

I want to share this with you, my readers, to give you some hope.

Things change. Things get better.

It gets better. It does.

My wish for you is this... That you are open to get help when you need it. Let it go. Get it out of you...talk about it. Cry, scream, punch a pillow. Let it go.

I hope for you that if you are a victim of any crime, that you are brave and that you let someone know. Please know that it doesn't define who you are. It doesn't take away your value or make you any less of a beautiful person.

CLICK HERE IF YOU NEED HELP

Thank you for being here friends, I appreciate you all.

All my love, Analise

Comments

[Tia G]

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[claudie]

I read this post when you actually posted it. I thought I had commented, but here I am re-reading it and I hope your family is healing my friend.
I just wanted to come and THANK YOU for the very pretty pink clip/pin you gave to all of us at Once Upon a Dream. I'm going to use it for my first little grand niece.
Thank you Analise.
May god be good to you and yours.
Love Claudie from Canada
xoxoxoxoxoxo

[Paula]

I do not know you, though consider you a blog friend. I read your blog and it takes me away reality. Thank you for sharing. Prayers & blessings to you and your family.

[Maija Lepore]

Hi Annalise! I stopped by to thank you for being a sponsor for Once Upon A Time! The hair clip is so pretty and it will get a lot of use by me! Thank you!
This lead me to read your post- I am so sorry for what you have been through, and still must be going through since you haven't posted in a while.
Please know you and your family are in my prayers!

[Mitzi Curi]

What a heartfelt post, and helpful to others dealing with similar stressors. Healing after a tragedy takes time, but it does happen. I hope you are feeling even better as fall approaches, and can get back in the blogging world.

[Cassy]

Hi Analise,
Thanks for sharing a piece of your story. I salute you for being a woman of courage and you inspire me. Thank you.

I know for sure that God will always be with you and your entire family.

God bless.

Cassy from Acoustic Guitar Lessons

[Kimla]

Beautifully written and from the heart. Thank you for sharing a personal piece of your life. Your message is universal and it feels reassuring to hear that things indeed get better. So easy to forget that, especially when a person is in the middle of a sea of pain. Thank you!

[K @ Aurora Blythe]

I truly admire how you handled this situation - by getting a job helping others worse than you. It can be so dangerous to close ourselves to others and start feeling sorry. Its easy to do (I know from similar experience). But healing comes through reaching out and moving on. Glad you are getting there. Proud of you for sharing. Thank you!

[Sadie]

Hi Leesie!
I came by here because I knew you had some links I needed but I didn't know I'd read something like this. I am so sorry you and your family had to suffer through this. I'm relieved you guys know the Lord and that you were able to lean on Him through this tragedy. I offer you my sincere and heartfelt compassion. I wish I could hug you! <3 xoxo

Romans 5:3 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

[Lisa Parish]

Analise,Love and hugs to you and your family.
God Bless
Lisa XXX

[jenny holiday]

Ahh Analise, Big HUGS to you my friend. Thank you so much for sharig this with all of us. Thank you for being such an awesome person. Even though we aren't in touch very often, I think about you all the time. You are really one of my absolute fave gals!

I am so very sorry that you and your loved ones had to go through this.

Love you and miss you..and hope to hang out at an artsy event one day soon!!

XOXO Jenny

[Julie Ann]

I'm so sorry your family's been hurt and that you've had to go through an exhausting, painful ordeal. I will be thinking about and praying for you and your family's continued recovery and happiness! *Hugs*

[Betty @ She's Sew Pretty]

I am so so sorry that you have had such a hard time. I want you to know that you ever, ever need anything...I am just a few streets away. I am glad to hear that you are all healing.
Love and hugs to you.

[Holly]

Hugs and hearts to you my dear! ♥

[Mahala]

I'm sorry that you had to deal with something like that. I just want to say that...well...I can relate and counseling is so helpful.
My best to you.
Mahala

[Judi Storm]

Thank you for trusting us with a piece of your story. May the Lord Jesus continue to guide you and help you heal. God Bless You and Your Family. Judi in Wahoo

[miss lynn]

You will keep
in perfect
peace, those
whose minds
are steadfast...
because they
trust in You.
isaiah 26:3

a personal
favorite that
keeps me grounded.
i am so sorry
for your pain,
analise.
blessings to
you and your
family.

[Natasha Burns]

You are amazing, inside and out. I have so much admiration for you and your brave family.
Love you lots, N xoxox

[sonia audelo]

You are a very strong person Analise. I am so sorry this has happened to your family. I too have been a victim of a crime. It was by a close family member and at the time I was 9yrs old. I did not tell anyone until I was older, and did not get any support. I have managed to not let this hold me back. God has helped me. It is wonderful to see that you have all been supportive to one another. Yes, God is there to help us. I will pray for you and your family.

[natalea]

I'm very sorry to hear that you had to go through this Analise, but I hope that sharing it will help you heal and feel supported. Wishing you further healing and peace. xo nat

[debe]

Analise, I am so sorry this has happened to your family. Met you at SB a few years ago & we swapped TX stories. I still live in The Wdls. so I know from meeting you what a sweet person you are, it shines from you. This must have been torture for you but I am so glad you are coming back to you. One foot in front and please keep that up. Hugs & Blessings on you all.

[Lorrie]

A similar thing happened in my extended family. It's shattering and painful. But God does heal, although it takes time. Thank you for sharing.

[Florence Muma]

It is not easy to share a story of hurt and wrongful dealings, but as you share you begin to heal. My prayer for you and your family is continued healing. Florence

[Connie]

I'd like to share a personal story with you so if you'd like, then come over to my blog and email me from the link there. I don't see one on here. Thanks, Sugar.
xoxo,
Connie

[Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping!]

Much love to you, Analise, for having the strength and courage to share your story. I will pray for continual healing for you and your family.
xo.

[Sharyn]

I like this part: I changed a lot of things in my life to help me cope. I got a job. I worked with people who have had more hardship than me, giving myself to help them survive their own pain and to recover. I didn't blindly lead them... I walked with them.

It shows that you are a person of character, strength and heart - and you took the tragedy and instead of letting yourself be controlled by bitterness, anger or sadness - you let it guide you to choices that helped you heal, and helped others at the same time.

you've a good heart

[shelly]

I love you and am so proud of you for allowing God to use your story. He continues to have great plans for you and your family. We don't get to choose every detail of our story but we get to choose what we do with it. He is so much bigger than any place we might find ouselves in.....and Oh How He Loves us! Xoxoxo

[Tina White]

Thank you for sharing, I think that it's part of the healing process...All day long God has reminded me that..."And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 I'm sorry your family had to go through this. I will be praying for complete restoration and for God to use this to minister to those in need. We love & miss you and your beautiful family so much.

[My Blessed Serendipity Life]

I am so sorry for you having to deal with a terrible tragedy that directly affected your family. My heart goes out to you as well as prayers that you will find peace and healing. God bless you.

Danielle